Welcome back Peeps! First, I’d like to thank those who shared their identity journeys on Instagram and Facebook, and those who wrote to me directly, #sharingiscaring !
Some of you expressed a bit of confusion, so I want to illustrate the concept of identity as explained in the BBPs in a quick sketch:
Hopefully, this will help.
Also, here’s a quick recap’ of the previous posts:
Our identity is our North Star, driving why we do what we do on a regular basis.
Identity is a story we tell ourselves about ourselves.
Identity “crises” are when we change the story we tell ourselves about ourselves.
We are afraid of it because it goes against our human instinct to seek consistency.
However, we should consider identity “crises” (the changing stories) as an opportunity to “add features” to ourselves.
This is all great but there’s a final chapter to IDENTITY. The true-self identity, the parts of the stories that don’t change much.
True-self is part inherited (DNA, and conditioning through various forms of education) and part core values. It can only change so much throughout our lives; and THIS is what drives each of us, at the very root of the stories we tell ourselves, deep down or way up there, whether we’re conscious of it or not.
I had long talks with my sister about the difference between inheritance and values. A lot of people consider the way they were educated to be their values — but, the way your parents conveyed their own values through educating you does not represent your own values. I’ll be talking about this in the next BBP thread — the #artofeducation #nextpost #bbp .
Back to true-self identity — I want to close this identity thread with a real life example. My #reallifeexample .
At the end of last year, I decided I was going to bring all my ideas and dreams to life this year 2019. I wanted to see if I could live a life of only things I love doing and being. That didn’t mean there would be no frustrations. Frustrations are part of life, and part of being human.
I started with reflecting on my core values — my true-self identity. Talking and writing through the differences between my inheritance (DNA and education) and my core values. I knew it would help me find the things I truly and sustainably love doing and being.
In reality, we tend to do things because we can do them; but that’s just cluttering our pool of ideas and dreams. Do things not because you can do them but because it resonates with your true-self.
So I made a quick list and a few sketches. It was nothing new, I carried these core values all my life but I finally had them down on paper.
Then, I stepped into this uncomfortable — yet exciting — phase of self-development — the wobbly place called identity crisis in my diagram above.
I honestly did not care about “identity” per se. I was simply vulnerable, connecting the dots between my true-self (core values) and the ideas and dreams I wanted to bring to life.
Three months in, it’s #stillinprogress but I’m happy to share more intimate details — if you’re curious or need coaching, contact me!
PS. I’m also figuring out how to turn this into a livelihood. I’ll be talking about this in a future BBP thread as well.