Belief is at the center of everything.
When we believe in something, we live and talk about it authentically. Being authentic is being the real you.
Step 3: Believe in the process so you can believe in yourself
To believe in yourself, you have to believe in the process first.
Life is a process. Nature works in cycles. It reinvents itself. It evolves. It adapts. So have you and so will you.
Develop a growth mindset.
A growth mindset is knowing that you're enough today, that you're right where you're meant to be because you're in a process. The process is the important bit. Hear me out.
Do you project yourself in the future with an identity that is both far away from who you are today, and idealistic? You say to yourself: "I'll finally be that ideal version of myself when I have my first kid", "...when I make 100k a year", "...when I'm skinny and fit", etc.
These thoughts reassure you because it makes it okay to not be enough today because you'll eventually be enough - or so you think. At the same time, it makes you feel insignificant, even useless.
These ideals are not milestones, they're part of a "never enough" mindset. You are convinced that you're not enough today but that there is a time in the future when you will be. You're expecting to be happy in a time that does not exist because the only time that exists is today.
Develop a growth mindset. Believe in the process of life. Know that you're right where you're meant to be. Know that you're enough today. Believe in yourself. Be your authentic self. Be the real you.
If you're struggling, there are two easy and efficient ways to help you:
Love yourself today and override self-deprecating thoughts by writing "I am enough" or "it's a process" or "I'm learning" - or anything else you think will help - on a post-it note and stick it somewhere you'll see every day. You may not believe it yet but seeing it all the time will somehow rewrite beliefs about yourself and boost your confidence.
Recognize, be proud and celebrate your achievements. Be proud of who you are today thanks to your past achievements and learnings. Have no regrets. Give yourself some credit! Celebrate every little achievement. It may only be treating yourself with ice cream, but it'll definitely give some value to your accomplishment!
Looking forward, acknowledging you've done your best up until now means you can believe that you'll continue doing your best.
Step 4: Inspire
A growth mindset means to believe in the process. Believing in the process means to believe in yourself.
When you believe in yourself, you're acting authentically and creating deeper relationships with yourself and others. You're naturally more confident.
Confidence inspires others. It's true, there is only one way that real confidence is expressed, and that is by inspiring others.
If you think that confidence casts a shadow over others, you're mistaken. It's actually insecurity that casts a shadow over others. Insecure individuals - although some will make themselves invisible - tend to be loud and intentionally want to crush others to be noticed and validated.
You may actually light up the room with this real you, cast a bright light on others.
Don't be afraid to be the real you. Most likely, you will inspire others to do the same.
Next up on Restless Monkey will be about:
Resilience and the importance of it - will not talk about the pandemic or COVID19... It'll be more about maturity and how resilience takes place in every day life.
A quick guide to kickstarting a new chapter in life.
Explorations to "when are you ready to become parents?"
And many more topics... Sign up here to receive a nudge when these are out!
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